I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE THE STRENGTH WHAT IF I- WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE MY NEXT GOAL I’M ON MY KNEES AND PRAYING THAT YOU’LL HEAR YOU NEVER LEFT ME BEFORE AND YOU SURE WONT LEAVE ME NOW(Wicks)
a friend of mine wrote this song and shared it with the crowd recently. as i read the lyrics, thinking about easter and the sacrifice of Christ offered to both God and man in an effort to reunite the two in deep and meaningful communion, i was impressed with how well my friend's lyrics seemed to reflect some of the same themes as the psalmist. in the psalms we read again and again how alone and helpless and subject humankind often feels (kinda tragic considering this autonomy was the thing that we wanted most in the cosmos) to the will of an invisible deity. we often catch ourselves saying things like 'all i can do now is pray' which carry with them a sense of spiritual and circumstancial impotence as the shoulders that have been humbled and bowed by whatever burden of fallenness has settled this week eventually are incapable of anything more theologically astute than a shrug.
yet our sense of aloneness is reduced in direct proportion to the number of people we hear from who are also feeling alone.
in 1997, TIME magazine named industrial angst rocker, trent reznor (a.k.a. nine inch nails) as one as one of the year's twenty five most influencial people:
Trent Reznor INDUSTRIAL ROCKER
Trent Reznor is the anti-Bon Jovi. He is the lord of Industrial, an electronic-music form that with its tape loops and crushing drum machines, harks back to the dissonance of John Cage and sounds like capitalism collapsing. But Reznor, with his vulnerable vocals and accessible lyrics, led an Industrial revolution: he gave the gloomy genre a human heart. It's been said that he wrote the first Industrial love songs.
...On the hit song Hurt Reznor sings, "I hurt myself today/ To see if I still feel/ I focus on the pain/ The only thing that's real." The Downward Spiral sold more than 2 million copies; earlier this year Spin magazine named Reznor "the most vital artist in music."
reznor is one of my all-time favourite artists because, call it what you will, his sadness offers the rest of us hope in that he reminds us that we are not alone in our feelings of disenchantment and pain. (originally posted at http://northvus.blogspot.com/2007/02/industrial-love-songs.html)
it’s knowing that somehow we are alone together that fosters hope within the most dire of circumstances.
it is the hope of the psalmist- that resolute 'yet i know that my Lord is able to rescue me' that often comes in the final strains of a psalm of lament- which is the poet's acknowledgement of God's sovereignty after having spent awhile unloading the burden.
bono recently wrote an introduction to the psalm installment of grove press' pocket canons. in it he states that:
Explaining belief has always been difficult. How do you expalin a love and logic at the heart of the universe when the world is so out of whack? How about the poetic versus the actual truth found in the scriptures? Has free will got US crucified? And what about the dodgy characters who inhabit the tome, known as the bible, who claim to hear the voice of God?
You have to be interested, but is God?
Explaining faith is impossible... Vision over visibility... Instinct over intellect... A songwriter plays a chord with the faith that he will hear the next one in his head.
One of the writers of the psalms was a musician, a harp-player whose talents were required at 'the palace' as the only medicine that would still the demons of the moody and insecure King Saul of Israel...
At age 12, I was a fan of David, he felt familiar... like a pop star could feel familiar. The words of the psalms were as poetic as they were religious and he was a star. A dramatic character, because before David could fulfil the prophecy and become the king of Israel, he had to take quite a beating. He was forced into exile and ended up in a cave in some no-name border town facing the collapse of his ego and abandonment by God. But this is where the soap opera got interesting, the is where David was said to have composed his first psalm- a blues. That's what a lot of the psalms feel like to me, the blues. Man shouting at God- 'My God, my God why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me? (Psalm 22)
I hear echoes of this holy row when un-holy bluesman Robert Johnson howls 'There's a hellhound on my trail' or Van Morrison sings 'Sometimes I feel like a motherless child.' Texas Alexander mimics the psalms in 'Justice Blues': 'I cried Lord my father, Lord eh Kingdom come. Send me bakc my woman, then thy will be done.' Humourous, sometimes blasphemous, the blues was backslidin' music; but by its very opposition, flattered the subject of its perfect cousin Gospel...(Bono)
author francis schaeffer, in his essay Some perspectives on Art said that "If there is no continuity with the way in which language is normally used, then there is no way for a reader or an audience to know what the author is saying. (Schaeffer)
perhaps this is why Jesus came in the first place...to make the language of holiness as accessible as the language of fallenness and alienation…
as tom wilson of junkhouse quipped:
the devil gets all the glory but it's Jesus that sings the blues...
interesting that Jesus invites us to share in his singing of the blues... to unite, as he did, blues and gospel- to become gospel, good news, for the other.
we were talking about worship, and i was drawn to something i wrote long ago as i tried to articulate these things that were so out of my depth (i know i've posted this online before- here we go again)...
worship isn't a designated time or place
it isn't a calculated emotional curve or a mosaic or isolated holy moments no, although these can all be part of worship, it a gestalt of all of them for the earnest servant of God... it is a day by day, hour by hour, breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat song to God. it begins at the foot of the cross, through the moment of acceptance and straight on until morning. it is both active and passive and therefore all consuming. it is the reason that all creation exists- to reflect back the glory and the love of almighty God.
worship is saying 'you are' to I AM
one of the things that we take from the scriptures is that worship is sacrifice… but what is sacrifice?
the offering of animal, plant, or human life or of some material possession to a deity, as in propitiation or homage.
2.
the person, animal, or thing so offered.
3.
the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
4.
the thing so surrendered or devoted.
Oh God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son" Abe says, "Man, you must be puttin' me on" God say, "No." Abe say, "What?" God say, "You can do what you want Abe, but The next time you see me comin' you better run" Well Abe says, "Where do you want this killin' done?" God says, "Out on Highway 61." (bob dylan, Highway 61 Revisited, 1965)
Highway 61, the main thoroughfare of the country blues, begins about where I came from… Duluth to be exact. I always felt like I’d started on it, always had been on it and could go anywhere from it, even down into the deep Delta country. It was the same road, full of the same contradictions, the same one-horse towns, the same spiritual ancestors. (bob dylan, Chronicles Volume 1, 2005)
in Genesis 22, God commands Abraham to sacrifice his certainty, his hope and his future out on the road that begins at WHO YOU WERE and travels to WHO YOU WILL BECOME…it is a story of origin, journey and revelation.
that dylan chooses to explore this biblical story in what some have called his most perfect song, is interesting. at the heart of this song and, indeed this biblical story, is an acknowledgement of how we are often called by God to release the things of which we are most sure, and to do so as an act of worship. paul's letter to the romans, chapter 4.1-3 speaks lovingly of abraham's life, sacrifices and faith, reminding the readers that these were 'counted to him as righteousness.'
further on in romans 12.1-2, we are challenged to present ourselves as living sacrifices. it appears as though faith and opportunity meet out on highway 61- the main thoroughfair of our lives, the place where everything on the journey happens- and the decisions we make at this crossroads are crucial to our moving forward, even when this particular usage of the word 'forward' is a foreign one.
Highway 61 Revisited, with Dylan squeezing a police-car siren in what is probably his most perfectly written song, is sung as the ultimate tall tale. You find out that not only can anything happen on Highway 61… it already has… carrying runaway slaves north before the long highway had a single name and, not so much more than a century later, carrying Freedom Riders south. (Greil Marcus, Like A Rolling Stone- Bob Dylan at the Crossroads, 2005)
see, the road from any here to any there only becomes meaningful when we choose to engage with it… when we redeem it from being simply a means of traveling from one place to another to being a place in and of itself… by becoming intimately involved in the journey itself, we come to recognize the grace and the wisdom afforded us by every step, every sign-post, every rest stop…
in canada, hitch-hiking the No1 is much different than driving it, which is much different than sleeping it away in the backseat, and much different than flying over it. The slower the mode of travel, the greater the opportunity to grow intimately acquainted with the road itself and to gather fruit from the journey…
I find when I'm always going, or thinking about going, or trying to go I have a tendency to miss things. (hineini)
as i thought more deeply about the implications of abraham's story, i was reminded of my friend, who blogs under the name hineini, and some of the things that he has shared about this, one of his favourite passages of scripture in the whole bible. rather than presume that i was afforded some higher vantage point, being the preacher in the room, i invited my friend to reflect upon where these scriptures take him- especially when it comes to embracing this notion of sacrifice.
Genesis 22, or the story of the binding of Isaac, has always been one of the biblical passages that has spoken most strongly to me and what its said to me has changed as I have grown older and most recently, now that I have a son of my own.Most of us have heard it so often it has become, like many of the stories we find in the bible, familiar to us, but it is a terrible story, a story that makes me tremble, a story about the costs, the incredibly high costs, of love.
The story begins with God calling to Abraham and Abraham answers “Here I am”This is the same “Here I am” of Moses, of Samuel, of Isaiah, and of others.It is a greeting but it also means “I will” or “I stand at the ready”. God goes on to request of Abraham saying, “Take your son, your only son, the son whom you love, Isaac”.Its as if we are hearing only one side of the conversation.God says take your son and Abraham replies I have two sons Ishmael and Isaac.God says take your only son to which Abraham replays but Ishmael is my only son with Hagar and Isaac is my only son with Sarah.God says take the son whom you love most and Abraham replies I love my sons equally.And so God chooses for Abraham...”Take Isaac”.Take Isaac and offer him as a burnt sacrifice.Its a frightening request, its horrible, unimaginable.But we know Abraham's response, we know what Abraham's great faith leads him to do.He agrees.He gathers a few things, splits some wood for the sacrifice and with two servants and his son Isaac, heads out to an unknown place, a place that God will show him.It must have been a long trip.Much longer than the two days it took to travel. I can't imagine what he must have been thinking, God's request echoing through his head with each step.
God shows him the place for the sacrifice and Abraham leaves his servants, loads up the wood for the sacrifice on Isaac and together they climb.It must have been a quiet climb.At one point Isaac asks his father. Dad, we have everything we need for a sacrifice except the animal, where is it?
What can Abraham possibly say?Surely he wants to answer his son, and he does.But yet he can't answer his son, not with out terrifying him, maybe causing him to flee.Abraham says only “God will see to God's sheep for the sacrifice” or in another translation, “God will provide”.Something we may say fairly often, daily even.
The story continues, Abraham and Isaac arrive at the place, Abraham builds the alter and lays out the wood and then his eyes move to his son.Was there a struggle?Did the boy try and get away?We don't know but I cannot even imagine that scene as I look at my son.The text says that Abraham bound his son and laid him on the altar on top of the wood and drew back the knife to slaughter his son.What was he thinking?How could he?But yet Abraham knew that there can be no holding back when God makes a request.That even our most cherished, those things we love the most, can not be held in reserve and that at any moment God might ask of us, out of love for God, to sacrifice what we love.
To me this begs the question “what about now?”What if my friend comes to me relating a similar demand placed on them by God.What if they tell me they think God is telling them to sacrifice something precious to them, maybe some of us have heard this before, its not unheard of.But what if they were to come and tell me “God is asking that I sacrifice my son, or my daughter”.Surely I would intervene, I would have too. I would try to help them, or stop them or both.Love demands it.Maybe that’s why Sarah isn't told, why she is kept out of the loop.Its too terrible to tell her, the mother of the sacrifice.Surely she would have forbid it, fought tooth and nail in the name of love to save her son. Who wouldn't?Maybe that’s why Abraham remains in Beer-Sheba after the ordeal while at the beginning of Genesis 23 we are informed of Sarah's death not in Beer-Sheba but in Hebron.Maybe it was too much to bear, her husband sacrificing her only son.The stakes are so high.
So too with Isaac.The text tells us in verse 6 that after leaving the servants “the two walked off together”.Abraham and Isaac climbed to the site of the sacrifice but in verse 19, after God stops the sacrifice, stops Abraham from slaying his son, Abraham is the only one mentioned who descends to rejoin the servants.Isaac isn't mentioned.Did Isaac return with his father?Could he have? We don't know, the text doesn't tell us, in fact we never see father and son together again in the text.Maybe this is the cost of love.The stakes could not get any higher.It cost Abraham his son and his wife.
I'll be the first to say I'm not up to the task.The demands of love are hard enough as it is when it demands my time and my attention, but my son?I don't think I could, and that’s what scares me.Knowing that at any moment God may arrive, demanding of me, for loves sake, that I sacrifice what I love.It makes me wish there were rules, or limits, someway to say “God would never ask this of me” “I can keep this certain something to myself.”But the story of Abraham reveals this isn't the case.Of all the things Abraham should have been able to keep for himself his son should have been it, a gift given to him by God.Of all the things which should have no part in Love surely murder is one.But even this is asked of him.The stakes are high, the highest, love is life and death.
In verse 14 Abraham names the place of the sacrifice. He calls it Adonai-yirch, or “The Lord will see”. God will see what our response is to the demands of love, to the demands of those around us who are in need and from which we can hold nothing back if we want to truly love. How can God not see? If, as the text tells us in 1 John that God is love then how can not see each and every demand of love placed on us. But God is not only the one demanding as in the story of Abraham and Isaac and not only the demand itself as love but is also the recipient of love for Jesus tells us in Matthew that whatever we do for the least of those around us, whatever we do for those who confront us and demand we love them by their very presence with us, whatever we do for each and every person we encounter we are doing it to or for or with God. And we can call each and every one “Adonai-yirch”, God will see. (hineini)
so what do we do with this?
what do we do if God steps into the story and asserts that it is God’s desire that we place the one thing that matters most to us- our certainty, or grip on the way things are supposed to work out, our picture of progress, our sense of stability and order- upon the stone table of sacrifice?
what songs shall we sing together then?
our original self is created to bring honour and glory to God through our involvement in and realization of God’s dream for us all together:
“That they would be my people and I would be their God…”
the realization of this dream involves daily worship, daily sacrifice... are we up to it?
recently at a silent auction for my son's school band, i bought a lump of coal.
not just any coal, mind you- this was actual r.m.s. titanic coal (bearing its own numbered certificate of authenticity and everything) that had been collected from the bottom of the atlantic ocean by entrepreneurial excavation crews. i bid against another pastor and eventually won the auction- which, of course, meant that i was no obligated to buy the item... sure showed him!
however, like with most things, this led to that which led to something else and i found myself pondering an image in my heart: all those people, floating in the cold…
romans 7.14-25 speaks of the writer's exasperation with being a sinful man. he has already acknowledged back in romans 3.23 that 'all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God' but what seems to really be getting his goat is the fact that he feels powerless to break his habitual 'falling short'...
no matter how hard he tries no matter how strong his resolve he cannot save himself.
if it were an email, he would probably hit the caps lock button before typing verse twenty four, where his frustration with himself comes to an explosive climax:
WHO WILL RESCUE ME FROM THIS BODY OF DEATH?
who indeed?
all those people floating in the cold...
speaking of atlantic crossings, emma lazarus wrote an invitation that has been immortalized by its placement upon the statue of liberty, but which could be very appropriately placed upon any church sign:
Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
this seems to paraphrase Jesus' words in matthew 11.28-30 about the weak and the tired finding rest. the problem is that, were we to place either the poem or Christ's words on the church sign, the question that would still hang in the air for me is who would come in response to this?
or perhaps, more cynically: what right have we earned to invite?
rick mckinley, the tattooed pastor of imago dei in portland oregon, said recently to someone from leadership journal that
Our goal is not to create a community of volunteers; the goal is to glorify the king by doing what he’s called us to do. We’re in a story that’s been going on for thousands of years… The story of Jesus putting the world back together through the gospel.
all those people floating in the cold, with a small, fortunate few sitting in lifeboats; fear over what will happen if the lifeboats go back and try to rescue those in the water; dismay of some over the self-centred reticence of the rest in the sparsely filled boats to go back and rescue the perishing; frustration of those in one boat going back with how many have been lost because the rescue took too long to organize, with help and hope coming too late to all those people floating in the cold... (note: this youtube clip was the best i could find... however, it has been hacked a little and misses some important dialogue between molly brown and the people in her lifeboat regarding social responsibility and fear. it also has, for some reason, been edited to no longer contain the lifeboat leader's key line of regret: "we waited too long". just rent or buy the movie and watch it- the clip serves as a loose reference only! ha ha.)
perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few... (matthew 9.37)
in any event, i don't think i'll ever be able to watch the final moments of titanic without feeling a sense of urgent responsibility for all those people floating in the cold.
