to believe or not to believe

we're all familiar with thomas. even if we haven't read his story, we know his name. although scripture reminds us that he was also called 'didymus' (john 20.19-31) we have a different d-word for him.

doubting thomas

poor guy. makes one simple statement that anyone might make and is stuck with a deprecatory nickname for millennia to follow. just doesn't seem fair.

a statement that anyone might make.

see, thomas requires hard data. he isn’t a pessimist- he’s a realist. it’s not that he doesn’t believe in Jesus... it’s that he doesn’t necessarily believe in his friends. after all, they’ve been under a lot of stress lately.

he does NOT say ‘It’s a lie.’

he simply says ‘prove it.’ (20.25)

so Jesus returns at the end of the week

challenging Thomas to make a choice:
‘to believe or NOT to believe- that is the question.’ (20.27)

gazing upon the scars of the passion of just a little over a week earlier, thomas’ lordship issue is broken, and the breaking resulting from the collision of his skepticism with this incredibly hard data prompts his confession of faith: ‘my Lord and my God!'

for doubting thomas, this visual proof not only establishes Jesus’ credentials as the Christ, but also this Christ’s divinity.

thomas is now ready.

it's interesting that scripture does not share whether tom takes Jesus up on the challenge and extends a timid finger into the wounds of his master or hangs back, sheepishly. i suspect the latter. after all, Jesus has not only exposed his lack of faith, but also his hyperbole. more importantly, perhaps, Jesus gives him another opportunity to believe without physically experiencing. Jesus invites thomas to further experience the proof, or simply believe his eyes. the choice is his.

and the choice is ours.

it is always ours.

recently, a friend sent me a note that sounded a bit like, perhaps, the kind thomas might have sent in that moment. my friend was facing a personal situation that was pushing him beyond the natural realm where the causalities are certain and control is sure and into the supernatural, where everything is bigger, faster, more absorbent and therefore all consuming. life, it seems, has the capacity to drive even the most self-assured of us to our knees:

Essentially I've depended on sound logic and self-reliance to guide me through life because I knew those things would never let me down. I've had a long relationship with God that has gone well with logic, and I could always rely on my own strength and determination to translate that logic into action.

I realized today that God has seen (my) situation before and he has a plan for recovery. Unfortunately the path he has laid out for the broken to walk on isn't designed to be walked alone. In order to walk this path I have to cast aside logic and accept true supernatural intervention. And instead of just pounding through the problem myself I'll have to rely on the wisdom and care of others. I'm not ok with this. I'm private by nature, and given any task, any mountain to climb, I know I can power through it most efficiently by myself. But this path isn't designed for that. If I wasn't so awesome I might even say I was scared.

to believe or disbelieve... that is the question

***

one of my favourite bands of the 90's was a band called the prayer chain.

their song 'dig dug' puts it this way:

It comes creepin...

Can you hear me?
Do you even know me?
I'm just like the rest
Need to stick my finger in your wrist

Dig in deep...

Can you hear my heart beat?
Do you even know my heart?
When i hold the doubts of thomas
As hard as i hold your promise?

Dig in deep
And bury me
Let it grow
Let it believe

(sadly, this recording is from 2003. the youtube vid from their heyday back in 1994 is so out of sync that it is unwatchable... in my view)